To disappear as if I had never lived.

I’m sick and tired of things that mean nothing,

If I could, I would disappear,

Into an oblivion.

No one could find me,

No one would bother,

But that’s OK.

Anything would be better than this.

Would I go back to the loneliness,

Of days that held no meaning…

Or forward to days that hold more than just a smile.

I can’t decide what’s better.

But, I do know this.

Anything would be better than this.

Anything would be better than a day like this,

A day where I can only cry.

No one can understand,

No one will leave me alone.

I’m sick and tired of things that mean nothing,

So leave me alone.

 

Would you be happier if I didn’t do things you hate?

Would you be happier if I stopped?

Would you be happier if I was gone?

What would make your life better?

What kind of life would you rather I lived?

If you can’t go, do you want me to go instead?

Don’t answer, I already know what you’re going to say.

I’m scared, but right now…

I’m too tired to even live.

So just let me leave peacefully.

I won’t be a burden anymore.

 

Or even better yet,

I could shoot a hole into my chest,

Maybe no one would notice.

My pain is too hard to hold in,

But I’ll try my best.

No more blatant sad faces,

I’ll go away now,

I’m sorry for being sad,

I’m sorry for being myself,

I’m sorry that my freedom was an inconvenience to you,

I try to hate you,

But I can’t bring myself to,

I know you can be better than this,

But why won’t you show me,

Why won’t you show everyone

A smile that can brighten up the sky?

If it’s hard, I can help you.

Let’s do it together,

To build a smile that can stop a war.

A smile that can shine brighter than the Sun,

A smile that everyone can see,

Not only me,

But you too.

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One thought on “To disappear as if I had never lived.

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